by lisa@lisacanning.ca | Feb 22, 2016 | Lifestyle Design, Mom Coaching
I posted this article to my Facebook wall that garnered some great discussion- the topic was balance, and if it exists.
The article argues that of these 5 things: family, sleep, work, friendships and exercise- you can only do 3 well. The other 2 will suffer.
Based on observing my own life I would have to agree with this 3/5 premise. In my life currently sleep is always the area I let suffer, despite my desire to wake up early.
So what gives? Are we doomed to always live lives that are out of whack? Does balance not exist and is the pursuit of it futile?
After running a business for 8 years and having 5 kids during 6 of those years, I would agree- expecting a 50/50 split, or trying to pursue equal distribution of time between work, family, exercise, friends and rest is just not realistic.
I prefer my friend Mona Corwin's definition of balance- which is that balance is achieved when attention is given at the proper amount in the proper place at the proper time.
This definition of balance resonates so well with me, and is definitely more attainable- there are always going to be seasons where work might need more attention, or family might need more attention. But even with adjusted expectations, the pursuit of balance and succeeding at it all can be pretty challenging. Here are a few of my strategies, to borrow Michael Hyatt's phrase, to win at work and succeed at life and balance "it all":
1. Schedule your most important priorities first, and actually keep those appointments
I have done Michael Hyatt's 5 days to your best year ever course 2 years in a row, and exercise was on the list of goals for the year both times. I had high hopes to exercise 3 times a week, go to bed early and eat healthy. I would block off the time in my calendar to work out in the morning and put my clothing out the night before. But my challenge was, I would never keep the appointments. I would come up with a million reasons why I should not work out and cancel these appointments I had made with myself to get healthy. So towards the end of 2015, I took drastic measures and I hired a personal trainer who comes to my house. I can't exactly cancel on her when she is standing in my living room- and the results have been amazing. To illustrate this point in another area, every Tuesday morning I participate in a program for my three youngest kids at our local community centre. I adore the time I get to spend with my kids in this interactive play group we attend. It's marked as a recurring appointment in my calendar and I schedule work around it.
The key is to spend this time on paper before it gets spent for you. In an ideal world I would schedule components from each of the 5 pillars mentioned above- work, family, sleep, friendships and exercise, not in equal amounts but in amounts appropriate to whatever season of life you are in- with intention. And then actually keep the appointment, regardless if it's an appointment only you are attending.
2. Remember the why behind the appointment
I think a big reason why things fall to the wayside, or items get pushed to the bottom of a never ending list, is that we forget why it's important to do it. I did not care about my physical fitness really, until I was forced to. At the end of 2015, I was doing the every day, routine task of putting my 2 year old in her high chair. I lifted the 18 lbs sweetheart of a girl out of the chair and because I did not lift using proper muscles, I threw out my back completely. I was in agonizing pain, completely immobilized, feeling like a total failure and moron for letting myself get so out of shape. That was the straw that literally broke the camel's back for me, and I was reminded if I don't take care of my health, I can't be there for my family. So whether it's being present in your kids' lives when they need it most, or making time for a coffee with an old friend, always remind yourself why these things are important and the benefits that come from keeping these appointments,
3. Delegate, automate, delete
I utter these three words almost daily as I am constantly reviewing the processes in which I do things. Because I have 5 kids, and I really want to be present to them as much as possible, I delegate a lot. Anything that can be automated with technology I automate, and anything that just does not need to happen anymore I delete. Some practical tips from my life include:
– Delegate: In my business I use this filter to determine what gets delegated: what am I not good at / is some else just as good or better than me at this? In my life these include accounting, anything related to my website aside from writing blog posts, shopping for products for styling days, graphic design, anything related to web marketing except fo the creation of the actual content. In my home life I have delegated house cleaning and laundry, still trying to figure out a grocery shopping option that isn't super costly (I just learned you can shop for groceries online and pick them up at Walmart in the GTA- next on my list of things to try to save me time!)
– Automate: The way in which I book and take payments for my 2-hour design consultations is now automated. I am currently figuring out gmail tags that allow you to forward specific kinds of emails off, like invoices, directly to my accountant. My trainer and I work out at the same times every week, so I don't have to think about it too much. I have a friend who puts people into his calendar so he remembers to call them and stay in touch every other month. Love this "automated" approach to staying in touch with friends.
– Delete: In my life, we keep the weekends pretty commitment free if possible to give ourselves tons of margin for unexpected plans. I say no to projects that won't fit within the number of hours I want to work. We are selective in the number of activities our children participate in. I limit the number of media previews or other work appointments in the evenings which is precious family time to me.
These are some practical ways I strive for balance- I would love to know some of your strategies in the comments below. And special thanks to Anna With Love for the shot above with my third child, and an exciting batch of photography for some new content I am creating on motherhood and balance. #excited #staytuned
by lisa@lisacanning.ca | Feb 24, 2015 | Lifestyle Design
Balancing work and family is no easy feat- especially when small kids can vocalize their needs at such alarmingly loud rates. So in the life of our family, it takes a lot of planning to ensure a certain level of sanity and order. Right now I am working on a couple of really big projects- some interior design client related projects, getting my house finished and styled for an upcoming shoot, and a few media projects. And we're having a baby… a pretty big project in itself : ) It's hard work and absolutely a balancing act, muscles I continue to train on the regular.
So today I thought I would share some of my top practical strategies learned from trial and error (flat out failure!) personal experience and from listening to material from people I admire, of how to plan for a productive week. Some of these tips might be helpful if you are working outside the home, run a part-time home based business, or simply want to stay on top of running a household and family duties. Whatever your season of life, I really hope some of these might be helpful to save you time and find you more peace!
1. SPEND TIME ON PAPER BEFORE YOU SPEND IT IN REAL LIFE
I was introduced to this concept by Michael Hyatt in this podcast on creating more margin. The whole concept is that similar to a financial budget, you spend your time on paper before you spend it in real life. I have found it so helpful to have an idea of the best way to spend my time during a week- knowing that of course it might get thrown off by the natural (and very crazy) rhythm of family life- but with a plan in place there is at least a roadmap. Lord knows I could not drive anywhere without my gps- think of this as a gps for your time. You can download an awesome excel editable schedule template from Michael Hyatt here.
The beauty of planning your week on paper (or colour coded on your iPhone!) is that if something comes up, as a former business coach Carla Wood taught me, you can move that block of time somewhere else- so those tasks don't get forgotten about and you can still feel a strong sense of order and commitment to the things that are important.
2. START WITH THE BIG ROCKS
You know the story of the big rocks? I didn't either, my friend Sarah had to teach me. Basically the idea is if you fill a jar with pebbles but then try to fit in large rocks after you can't. But if you put the large rocks in first and then pour the pebbles on top the smaller stones will fill in the gaps- same jar, more in it.
Use this concept in planning your ideal week. What are your big rocks? Picking up the kids from school, prayer time, blogging, client appointments, book keeping, marketing, social media strategy, writing, kids play dates / activities, house chores, caring for a sick family member, etc. are all things that come to mind. Make a list of the "big rocks" in your life. Depending in your season of life it is going to look totally different from mine or Michael Hyatt's and don't compare. This is YOUR ideal week.
Now schedule these big rocks in time increments on your schedule. Running out of time? Consider if there are any big rocks you can give away- either to staff, hired help, or another family member. I'll speak more on this later.
3. THEME YOUR DAYS
This has proven to be the most important strategy for me in remaining sane and saving time. In the early days of my business I was a glorified courier who also did interior design (or so it felt)! I was ALWAYS driving. I would try to schedule appointments with clients in some sort of strategy- but in the end I always went wherever the biggest crisis was and I basically spent most of my profit margin on gas. Now when possible, I only book appointments on Wednesdays and Fridays and of course somewhat geographically.
In my business, if I do not set parameters and boundaries on meetings, I would never get anything else done, OR I would do them at midnight when everyone is sleeping (like I used to do) and burn out so hard so fast (which I absolutely did not that long ago).
This is a typical week for me: Mondays- book keeping and business planning / forecasting. Tuesdays: personal appointments and kid stuff, blogging, correspondence, content creation. Wednesdays: consultations, client meetings, sourcing, site visits. Thursdays: personal appointments and kid stuff, blogging, correspondence, content creation. Fridays: consultations, client meetings, sourcing, site visits.
This really works for me as the change of activity is strategic- for example, being at a computer all day can mentally drain me- but I know the next day is on the road, dynamic and fast paced, meeting people, engaging in a lot of my strengths- but this can really physically drain me, and I look forward to the next day that is typically a bit more home based / less physical.
This concept of giving a theme to a day can also be applied to stuff around the house- laundry, groceries, cooking etc. etc. again it is the concept of once the tools and what not are out, you can be more productive by doing the same kind of activity in the same bulk of time.
Still running out of time? This next strategy is AWESOME…
4. AUTOMATE, DELEGATE, DELETE
Stu McLaren put it so well at the Platform conference, "to work less, you must automate, delegate, and delete tasks." Let's spend some time on this one as it is an awesome strategy.
As I mentioned in point 2 with the big rocks, you might find after writing your list and plotting it into a schedule you have completely run out of time. The metaphorical jar of a week only has so many hours. So you have two choices- cry or change (lol, not really).
Stu argues you have 3 options- automate, delegate or delete. This is totally applicable to business stuff and stuff around the house / with your kids. Here are some ideas from my personal experience:
Automate: I have to work on this one a bit more to be honest- but in my work life I have started to use a tool called Infusionsoft which is a great email manager and I'm creating systems that will automate a lot of my most frequently asked requests- for example, I get a lot of emails regarding what to expect from a design consultation / what are the fees. Infusionsoft will help to collect information from potential clients in a way that will cut down the number of back and forth emails I typically take to finally provide them with pricing or an available time. It will make booking an appointment with me automated to to a certain degree- this is very exciting for me as a time saver!
Think of automating things like car service appointments, house maintenance stuff, kids doctor's appointments- where they are put in the calendar MONTHS in advance and you set a reminder and don't have to think about them at all.
There are also great social media apps like Meet Edgar and using HootSuite to schedule and automate certain social media posts- I have yet to fully dive into this but I know I have to.
Lastly I am really contemplating automating my groceries- meaning I order them online and they get delivered. I wrestle with the idea as it is a luxury- but I find grocery shopping a draining experience and always takes me much longer than I intend- and I have yet to develop strategies to streamline it- I ALWAYS forget something important, even if it's on the list.
Delegate: By necessity with 4 kids I have gotten really good at this. I delegate lots of stuff in business- majority of accounting, anything website / tech related, ordering and admin stuff I have a virtual assistant, etc. In my home life we have a part-time nanny who is incredibly helpful with laundry, cleaning, and school pick up and drop off. The cleaning and laundry support, while yes a luxury, is so extremely helpful with a family as large as ours.
Delete: This one was REALLY hard for me but has proven to be a game changer in my pursuit of peace and balance. It's hard to delete. It just is- especially when you have done something the same way, or you feel like the world might look at you different and judge you for no longer doing something. But YOU HAVE TO. In my life, it means I am VERY selective about the kinds of interior design projects I take on. If I know I don't have time for it based on my other big rocks- that potential client gets referred to a trusted colleague. For our family, it also means we are pretty selective in the kinds of after school activities we participate in and what we do on the weekend. Because you can't just keep filling up your schedule (i.e. your jar) without expecting something to burst.
5. SCHEDULE IN MARGIN
This is really really essential. Things will go wrong- a child will get sick, an appointment will run late, life will happen. You also need to rest! For our family, weekends are very precious. We try when possible to only schedule one thing on the weekend (not including Church on Sundays). It is really important for my family to have this buffer time and margin, and I sometimes forget I am 6 months pregnant and push myself physically WAY too far. So schedule it!
This is beyond the scope of this post but scheduling sleep is essential too. I try to be in bed by 10pm now, so I can rise early. This has been a game changer for me as well- I had no idea how much I was suffering (I knew I was suffering though!) from lack of sleep. Forcing myself to get it has been really influential in my quality of life.
Another important thing to do is not compare yourself to others- someone who has grown kids, or is single, is going to have a very different ideal week than someone like me with really small kids at home. BUT- I challenge you to also push yourself in way- rather than having a defeatist attitude about time, look carefully about HOW you spend it, and if it is really being spent in the BEST way for you.
What strategies do you employ to plan for a great week? Love to know in the comments below.
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