Having kids at home all the time during this unprecedented time of self isolation due to the Coronavirus can be really stressful. How will you get your own work done? How will you keep them from fighting? How will you keep them entertained? How will you keep yourself from not losing your mind?!?!
Fear not… THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE.
YOU WILL PREVAIL. But it does require a few things:
1) A MINDSET SHIFT
What if…
…instead of this time being one of stress and worry…
…we could look back and say that I learned something about myself, and about my family and I came out the other end STRONGER.
For this to happen, we need to manage our minds, choose hope, and have faith. We need to get out of negativity and FIND THE HOPE.
2) A SKILL SHIFT
To do the above, we need to increase our skills. Our skills in parenting, our skills in communication…
…and our skills in scheduling.
As a former homeschooling mom (I guess we are all homeschooling moms now!) of 8 children ages ten and under, I have. a unique perspective on time management. I believe regardless of our situation and available resources, we can ensure our PRIORITIES are managed, and the things we need in life to THRIVE can be integrated into a daily schedule, no matter how many children you have got at home.
So I have created a resource for you to help you grow in your ability to schedule your time, so that you can walk out of this Coronavirus scare with grace and confidence that you, and your family not just survived… but thrived! Just enter your info below to have the resource delivered straight to your inbox.
It's Mother's Day, and I have been reflecting a lot on my journey as a mom. Oh my word, it has been a journey full of ups, downs, pivots, spins. There are so many things that I know now, after 9 years of experience, and almost 7 babies later, that I wish every mom knew. Click below to watch the video, or read on below:
I wish all moms knew that children are not a burden. There are things about motherhood and raising kids that are inconvenient, for sure. The amount of pee and poop I have cleaned from all kinds of surfaces, let me tell you. But these things, these things that might not be pleasant, might require us to give and give of ourselves make us better people. Children are not an inconvenience.
I wish all moms knew we could beat to our own drums. It is so OK if you want to do life differently than your mom, your sister, your best friend, your work colleague, that girl on instagram, that's alright. You want to know why? Because your life is yours. It's YOUR LIFE!!!
I wish every mom knew that if you want to quit your job and be with your kids more full time YOU SHOULD DO IT. Don't just go back to work because a bunch of people are telling you you should. Don't go back because you are afraid that you won't have a job if you take some time off to be at home- heck, you are probably GOSH DARN TALENTED and can get a job again regardless of how much time you invest in being home.
I wish all moms knew that making decisions from a place of fear is usually not the best approach. It might provide a solution for your family, but it probably isn't the best solution for your family.
I wish all moms knew that success as a mom is so possible, but that success just might look different than how you originally pictured it.
I wish all moms knew that it is a far better strategy to measure success by looking inward, rather than looking sideways and comparing yourself to others.
I wish all moms knew that becoming a mom does not mean you sacrifice your dreams. You can be a great mom and follow your passions. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO SQUASH ALL YOUR DREAMS AND TELL THEM TO BE QUIET JUST BECAUSE YOU BECAME A MOM. I believe that ALL MOMS CAN DESIGN THEIR LIVES SO THEY CAN PURSUE THEIR PASSIONS AND GOALS BUT NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF THEIR FAMILIES. It is possible.
I wish all moms knew that your life is yours, and yours alone to live. Which means that sometimes when people give you advice, you need to nod and smile, but not take that advice.
I wish all moms knew that motherhood does not have to be lonely. You're not in it alone. If you are feeling sad, insecure, or no one is experiencing what you are experiencing, that is a lie. Talk about it, ask for support. We are not meant to do this alone.
I wish all moms knew that motherhood is hard sometimes, but it does not have to be hard ALL THE TIME. We can design our lives so that our schedules include time for friends, time for self care, time for hobbies- it does not need to be hard all the time.
I wish all moms knew that kids will fail- and that is ok. Let them fail.
I wish all moms knew that when kids don't excel the way you pictured it, THAT IS OK. IT IS NOT A REFLECTION OF YOU AND YOUR ABILITY TO PARENT. It is simply a reality that we all have different gifts and talents. AND THAT IS A-OK.
I wish all oms knew that you don't have to enroll your child in multiple activities for them to become a great person. If they have an interest, foster it. But it should not be at the expense of your sanity, or your child's sanity.
I wish all moms knew that motherhood is not a competition. Who cares whose kid is the smartest, whose house is the nicest, who can bake the best cake. WE DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALL. THERE IS ROOM FOR EVERYONE TO EXCEL.
I wish all moms knew what a joyful noise the sound of small children can be.
I wish all moms knew that motherhood can be fun! You get to revisit your own childhood in so many ways, you get to play, your get to become a kid again. It can be so much fun.
I wish all moms knew that the toddler phase is kind of like a choose your own adventure book- and they choose the adventure, you don't, by the way!
I wish all moms knew that giving your child a sibling is an incredible gift. It might seem like there is no way you can give anymore of yourself, but the gift of a sibling IS A GIFT TO EVERYONE.
I wish all moms knew that sometimes motherhood can make you feel like YOU ARE LOSING YOUR MIND. But THAT YOU ALWAYS GET IT BACK, I PROMISE.
Happy Mother's Day to all my fellow mamas who are working hard, sacrificing lots and following their dreams at the same time.
Self-care has been big time on my mind as we have been recovering from moving houses- and I am soaking it in in all forms! As a mom of a bunch of small kids (and pregnant on top of it) I must say I need to sit down at least ten times a day!
In my pursuit of my own self-care I've been thinking a lot about why self-care is important when you're a mom.
I used to struggle with the concept of self-care so much. I felt so bad leaving my kids with someone else, I felt bad "abandoning" them, I felt selfish for doing small things for me. In the past, I basically let the lack of paying attention to my own needs pile up for so long I would snap and then my husband would send me on an imposed time out ????
But here are my two cents and please feel free to disagree with me:
What I have learned in nine years of motherhood of 6 young children, is that for me to be a good mom, I need to pay attention to what feeds my soul and restores my energy.
It doesn't need to be a weekend away, or a full day at the spa or what have you (although these are obviously nice from time to time if logistics allow it!) but small things, like a coffee alone, or a quick mani/pedi while my parents watch the kids for an hour, or 15 minutes on the treadmill, or even just strapping the kids in the car and getting the most decadent coffee possible, these small, regular things are so important. But the key is that there is regularity- not just stockpiled until we crack. What do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? Struggle?
So in the pursuit of making time for self-care more of a priority, I have compiled my list of my favourite spots to relax in Toronto when I am tired and really need a break. Like I said above, if you can budget a full spa day that's amazing. But if you can't, a 30-minute manicure can be really helpful too- it doesn't have to be all or nothing!!!
On to my favourite spots (and please add to them in the comments below!)
1. RH Courtyard Cafe, Yorkdale Mall
RH's new Toronto location just opened a few months ago at Yorkdale Mall and it is a work of art. Not only is the retail store a restorative place to dream big (with big price tags, lol!), attached to the location is an equally breathtaking cafe. I ate the scrambled eggs and avocado with a delicious Americano, to the sound of indoor fountains and basked in natural light. It's also a super fun place to people watch- it attracts all kinds, from high end interior designers hosting meetings with their clients, to older ladies who lunch, to younger ladies with their babies, to the millennial fashion crowd with all their Nordstrom bags. It's a fun treat for all the senses!
2. Her Majesty's Pleasure
In all honesty, in the rare times I do go to get my nails done it is at my local spot with florescent lighting, 30-minute service, adorned with posters of 1980's nail models. But if I really want a treat, I will venture downtown to Her Majesty's Pleasure, another treat for all the senses (sans florescent lighting) with its beautiful design, delicious cocktails and coffee, and ability to get your nails, hair, makeup, whatever will make a mama feel her best, done in one stop. Pair this with a date night downtown, or girls night on King Street for a fun couple of hours sans the kiddos.
3. Sugar Beach
This fairly recent addition to Toronto's waterfront is cute and quaint. Honestly, I come here for the pink umbrellas. This is a nice spot in the summer to bring your Starbucks, and a book, for a quick restorative break.
4. Indigo at Sherway Gardens
I love me any Indigo location, but I REALLY love the Sherway Gardens location, which opened last year, and was designed as an art-gallery inspired "cultural department store." And it really is so much more than a bookstore. It's another spot to just get lost in inspiration, with an entire section dedicated to gifts for her, from gorgeous scarves, to leather handbags, to the most incredible selection of paper products, to all the monogrammed mugs an Instagram mom can dream up. It's just a delightful place to retreat and recharge your inspiration battery.
5. HomeSense
So while it isn't exactly spa-like in its environment, a HomeSense location to me is such a fun place to unwind, not think, and hunt for treasures. I recently talked about the "thrill of the find" concept over on my Instagram stories, and it seems like quite a few of you agree with me- that browsing a HomeSense, looking for fun unique things at great prices is actually RELAXING. I LOVE IT. And while it sometimes requires a bit of physical stamina to make it (I don't know about you but the locations I go to almost always have LONG lines), the thrill of the find and the fun of looking for beautiful things (and saving money all at the same time) is a strangely relaxing ritual for me.
What about you? Where do you like to go in Toronto when you need a little mom break? Let me know in the comments below.
Hello my friends! I feel like it's been a while since I have shared what is going on in my family, so today I am sharing an update on what it is like to be a working mom of 6, and share a tool that has been really helpful in navigating through life as a mom on the go [and today I am on the go with my youngest son in our new Bugaboo Bee⁵]!
Working mom of six… even whenI read that I feel tired! But as I share often on my Instagram and my YouTube channel, navigating life with my large crew has been equal parts enjoyable, equal parts challenging, but most of all really, really fulfilling.
Motherhood, like anything, is a skill. It has a learning curve. You can feel like you have it all together one minute, and then feel like you are going to lose your mind the next moment. Add on to that the very real pressures that come with a job outside of the home, and it can all be a difficult space to navigate. As I have told many of my first time mom friends, I think having your first child is harder than having six children in a lot of ways! There is such a steep learning curve with your first child, and such a drastic change in your identity, your regular schedule and your body!
But with eight years of this motherhood gig now under my belt, and six gorgeous humans who I get to call my children, I have a little more confidence, I am way less hard on myself, and I have learned strategies that help me to persevere through the challenging parts of motherhood.
When people ask me, "how do you do it?" I honestly don't always know what to say. But I will share this: one strategy that I have learned is an absolute necessity to thrive in motherhood is self care. And let's just say I have failed pretty epically at it over the years. But what I have learned is that if we want to be good moms, good contributors to society, and generally nice people to be around [lol] we have to listen to our bodies, listen to our emotions, and take care of ourselves so we can take care of others.
This weekend I spoke at event [a really fun ladies tea event in Oakville on the topic of creating family memories at home] and I knew that I would be pretty tired after it. So I booked a babysitter, and made sure I would have enough time on the way home to do something I LOVE- which is to spend time on the waterfront in my home of Toronto, Canada.
We only hung out for about thirty minutes- but boy was it restorative. There is something so soothing to me about water. I love how peaceful it is, how vast it is, and for me it is just so restorative. I live in a really busy city- and I just love how even in my urban dwelling I can escape to a scene like this for a moment of rest. [It doesn't hurt that there was a pierogi food truck nearby- so yummy]
It can be really challenging to make rest a priority. For many years, I didn't think rest was important enough to hire a babysitter for, and spend money on to achieve. But what I find is when I rest, I dream. I am a dreamer. I love having the space to just think. To listen. To recalibrate. And my spouse, my kids, and myself are all better off as a result.
With my large family of six kids ages eight and under, one of the ways we make our family work, and make it easier for me to have this self-care time, is to have more than one stroller. This way, if I am doing something on my own with the baby, and my husband or a babysitter is taking care of the rest, whoever is taking care of my other children has the flexibility to take my older kids out on their own adventure.
The Bugaboo Bee⁵ stroller makes traveling with my infant on my own really simple. It's compact design makes it ideal for my urban neighbourhood- it's narrow width is easy to navigate around crowds and shops and the suspension design makes for a smooth ride on my self-care trips to the water (or the mall, lol).
It's also incredibly flexible- it has integrated attachment points for things like coffee cups and a comfort wheeled board [no need for adapters], customizable colours on the faux leather handle bar grips and changeable wheel caps, and my favourite, the Bugaboo Bee⁵ has 700 possible design configurations- so you can customize your stroller to your heart's content.
And speaking of heart's content- how much fun is this bassinet fabric design? I love the denim and the butterflies (my three year old is a big fan of the pinks ones)! In my work as an interior designer I just love to have beauty all around me- and this stroller is no exception.
To learn more about Bugaboo and dream up your own design, learn more here. And for more self-care strategies for busy moms, watch here.
How do you take care of yourself as a busy mom? What tools help your family make this possible? Love to know in the comments below.
Cheers to designing your beautiful life,
xo Lisa
Special thanks to Bugaboo Strollers for partnering with me on this blog post.
After the summer we have had (which included a sick child in hospital, a car breaking down on our way to Florida, altered vacation plans, increased expenses, and a general necessity to rely on God and be flexible), I've been reflecting a lot on what it means to be a good wife and mother.
Because there are so many days where I feel like I am absolutely failing at both.
There are days when I scream. Where I nag. Where I am less than gracious. Where I honestly feel like giving up.
And then I take a page out of my own book. Literally- I comb through past blog posts where I discuss struggle and what it looks like when you come out of it and I am reminded there is always a new day. There is always a do-over. And to quote the lovely Cat and Nat from Social Commons, having a bad day as a mom doesn't mean you are a bad mom- you just had a bad day being a mom.
So for today's post I am re-posting an excerpt from a past post. If you feel like you're having a bad day as a wife and mom this one's for you.
Last weekend, my husband had a work conference in Montreal- so the kids and I decided to tag along for the ride. Smoked meat and poutine, cuddles in big comfy hotel beds and quality time after working like a maniac- so needed! I am so thankful for the weekend we had. I am most thankful for the time to recalibrate and be reminded of what my most important job is.
I put in a lot of time developing myself professionally. Recently I was in Colorado for The Platform Conference, yearly I invest in business coaching of some kind, and I am pretty obsessed with reading and gathering info on social media strategies, good business practices and becoming a better interior designer and communicator in general.
But how much time do I invest in being a good wife and a good mother? The honest answer is not very much. So in Montreal I brainstormed a few concrete ways I could invest in being a better wife and mom. Here they are in no particular order:
1. Do more the night before.
This has proved to be pretty awesome for our morning routine, and therefore all of our moods heading out the door for school. And for those of you in Toronto or anywhere north of the equator it seems, you know how much more effort it was this week with snowpants, boots, mitts, hats, etc. etc. etc. So I am disciplining myself to attempt to lay things out the night before. School bags with letters / forms already filled in get laid out by the door, and lunches mostly packed saved for the things that are perishable and are pre wrapped in bags in the fridge. I have to work on getting them to lay out their clothes the night before- hoping to instill that habit in them (and myself!) too.
2. Turn my phone off for uninterrupted, aimless time.
Or at least put it away out of reach. I think I need to make a "sacred time", where the phone is away. In this time I want to invest in just being present and aimless. Ask my kids questions, be present to my husband in conversation, be available in an undistracted manner. I need to work on this. Update: since writing this post I did a 30-day social media fast which was life changing.
3. Be more grateful, and verbalize my gratitude.
This one is simple. I need to be more grateful for my spouse and my kids and let them know that. If I had a jar and I had to put a dollar in for the number of times I got irritated in a day with everyone, vs. the times I spoke grateful words to them it would be pretty sad to see how full that jar would be.
4. Be more romantic.
As a mom of small kids, romantic gestures of any kind are admittedly quite neglected at the end of a day full of demands. The relationship I have with my spouse supports the rest of the relationships in our house, and establishes a culture of care and kindness. My kids learn about love by watching the way I relate with Josh. I best treat him with some fondness ; )
In the fast pace of our life with 4 kids (update: now almost 6!) and busy work schedules, there are days that we feel like we barely survive. But there are also days that we thrive. I want more of the latter, and experience has shown me that if I put into practice some of the goals I set out above, like being more organized and more attentive and less distracted, we really do feel great. At mass last Sunday at the gorgeous and historic St. Patrick's in Montreal, this was read in the first reading: "Her children stand up and proclaim her blessed, her husband, too, sings her praises" (Proverbs 31:28). I hope to live up to this both for my own personal standard and for them.
How do you invest in your job as parents and spouse? Love to know your best practices in the comments below.
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