by lisa@lisacanning.ca | Dec 30, 2016 | Lifestyle Design
We are thrilled to share the news that just before Christmas we welcomed baby James, our 6th baby, into the world! It has been a whirlwind of an adjustment period- so much joy, so much chaos, so many children home from school (!!!) and so many cuddles with this incredible small person.
We have now done this six times. Six times we have made the trek downtown to the hospital (almost always in the middle of the night!), six times I have laboured and pushed out of my body a brand new member of our family. Six times I have felt a joy that overwhelms my entire being and makes me love my husband more than I thought possible. And six times I have marveled at the miracle of life as I have held a tiny little person.
The story this time, in true Lisa fashion, is somewhat eventful… (Side note: for more fun baby tales here are the posts for the births of John, Evelyn, Leo, Rose, and Joseph)
Dec 20 7pm: Standing in line at HomeSense with a final stack of pillows to finish off a fun project in Markham. Absolutely started feeling contractions. In HomeSense. In a line up a hundred people long. Because everyone is buying Christmas presents on December 20.
7:30: I am out of HomeSense and need to decide if I have time to drop the pillows off at the client's house, or if I should go straight to the hospital.
7:45: At client's house and I am arranging pillows on the sofa (even though I texted ahead of time and said I was pretty sure I was in labour and would only drop them at the front). Client and I both agree I am crazy and it is time for me to leave, STAT.
8pm: I am definitely contracting and heading south toward the hospital. However, it is also my mom's birthday! And it was my idea for us to enjoy a really nice, relaxed dinner, just the grown ups (which is rare for us to do)! Do I pull off the highway and join them for a minute?
8:15pm: Fully got off the highway and say to myself I will only stay if I can get parking right at the front and will only sit down for a minute.
8:20pm: Guess who found parking literally at the front of the restaurant entrance! It's a miracle! I waddle in to see my family who are all looking at me like I am nuts.`
8:30pm: I sit down and literally cannot decide what to do. I am so hungry, but I am also fully contracting. And it is an all you can eat thai buffet. ALL YOU CAN EAT. And I could eat all the things.
8:45pm: My entire family agrees I am crazy, because I am fully in labour but am trying to decide if I have time to eat some popcorn shrimp or not. My brother-in-law very stealthily sneaks popcorn shrimp into my coat pocket and they all kick me out. I call my husband and tell him to pack the bags! We have no bags packed because it is a full 2 weeks before my due date.
9pm: I get home, but I am in total denial I am in labour (I WANT TO EAT MORE POPCORN SHRIMP!), although I am fully contracting every 5 minutes. Because my doctor has put the fear of God in my that this baby will FLY OUT since it is my sixth one in eight years basically, I know it's time to make our way downtown.
10pm: At hospital, checked in, still in relatively little pain although I can feel the contractions are getting stronger.
11pm: Since I am not in a ton of pain I debate doing this whole labour thing without an epidural. Never done it au naturale before, might be fun to try?!?
11:05pm: I hear a woman screaming in the room next to me in a ton of pain. Debate over.
12am: Epidural comes and I slip into a wonderful, drug induced sleep.
5:30am: I wake up fully dilated and it is time to push. 3 contractions later and we meet our baby boy!!!
The transition back home has been beautiful chaos. If you'd like to see what our first week was like check out my brand new vlog!
Our hearts are full (as are our coffee mugs, lol!). We are so totally in love. Thank you for sharing in our joy!!!!!
by lisa@lisacanning.ca | Feb 22, 2016 | Lifestyle Design, Mom Coaching
I posted this article to my Facebook wall that garnered some great discussion- the topic was balance, and if it exists.
The article argues that of these 5 things: family, sleep, work, friendships and exercise- you can only do 3 well. The other 2 will suffer.
Based on observing my own life I would have to agree with this 3/5 premise. In my life currently sleep is always the area I let suffer, despite my desire to wake up early.
So what gives? Are we doomed to always live lives that are out of whack? Does balance not exist and is the pursuit of it futile?
After running a business for 8 years and having 5 kids during 6 of those years, I would agree- expecting a 50/50 split, or trying to pursue equal distribution of time between work, family, exercise, friends and rest is just not realistic.
I prefer my friend Mona Corwin's definition of balance- which is that balance is achieved when attention is given at the proper amount in the proper place at the proper time.
This definition of balance resonates so well with me, and is definitely more attainable- there are always going to be seasons where work might need more attention, or family might need more attention. But even with adjusted expectations, the pursuit of balance and succeeding at it all can be pretty challenging. Here are a few of my strategies, to borrow Michael Hyatt's phrase, to win at work and succeed at life and balance "it all":
1. Schedule your most important priorities first, and actually keep those appointments
I have done Michael Hyatt's 5 days to your best year ever course 2 years in a row, and exercise was on the list of goals for the year both times. I had high hopes to exercise 3 times a week, go to bed early and eat healthy. I would block off the time in my calendar to work out in the morning and put my clothing out the night before. But my challenge was, I would never keep the appointments. I would come up with a million reasons why I should not work out and cancel these appointments I had made with myself to get healthy. So towards the end of 2015, I took drastic measures and I hired a personal trainer who comes to my house. I can't exactly cancel on her when she is standing in my living room- and the results have been amazing. To illustrate this point in another area, every Tuesday morning I participate in a program for my three youngest kids at our local community centre. I adore the time I get to spend with my kids in this interactive play group we attend. It's marked as a recurring appointment in my calendar and I schedule work around it.
The key is to spend this time on paper before it gets spent for you. In an ideal world I would schedule components from each of the 5 pillars mentioned above- work, family, sleep, friendships and exercise, not in equal amounts but in amounts appropriate to whatever season of life you are in- with intention. And then actually keep the appointment, regardless if it's an appointment only you are attending.
2. Remember the why behind the appointment
I think a big reason why things fall to the wayside, or items get pushed to the bottom of a never ending list, is that we forget why it's important to do it. I did not care about my physical fitness really, until I was forced to. At the end of 2015, I was doing the every day, routine task of putting my 2 year old in her high chair. I lifted the 18 lbs sweetheart of a girl out of the chair and because I did not lift using proper muscles, I threw out my back completely. I was in agonizing pain, completely immobilized, feeling like a total failure and moron for letting myself get so out of shape. That was the straw that literally broke the camel's back for me, and I was reminded if I don't take care of my health, I can't be there for my family. So whether it's being present in your kids' lives when they need it most, or making time for a coffee with an old friend, always remind yourself why these things are important and the benefits that come from keeping these appointments,
3. Delegate, automate, delete
I utter these three words almost daily as I am constantly reviewing the processes in which I do things. Because I have 5 kids, and I really want to be present to them as much as possible, I delegate a lot. Anything that can be automated with technology I automate, and anything that just does not need to happen anymore I delete. Some practical tips from my life include:
– Delegate: In my business I use this filter to determine what gets delegated: what am I not good at / is some else just as good or better than me at this? In my life these include accounting, anything related to my website aside from writing blog posts, shopping for products for styling days, graphic design, anything related to web marketing except fo the creation of the actual content. In my home life I have delegated house cleaning and laundry, still trying to figure out a grocery shopping option that isn't super costly (I just learned you can shop for groceries online and pick them up at Walmart in the GTA- next on my list of things to try to save me time!)
– Automate: The way in which I book and take payments for my 2-hour design consultations is now automated. I am currently figuring out gmail tags that allow you to forward specific kinds of emails off, like invoices, directly to my accountant. My trainer and I work out at the same times every week, so I don't have to think about it too much. I have a friend who puts people into his calendar so he remembers to call them and stay in touch every other month. Love this "automated" approach to staying in touch with friends.
– Delete: In my life, we keep the weekends pretty commitment free if possible to give ourselves tons of margin for unexpected plans. I say no to projects that won't fit within the number of hours I want to work. We are selective in the number of activities our children participate in. I limit the number of media previews or other work appointments in the evenings which is precious family time to me.
These are some practical ways I strive for balance- I would love to know some of your strategies in the comments below. And special thanks to Anna With Love for the shot above with my third child, and an exciting batch of photography for some new content I am creating on motherhood and balance. #excited #staytuned
by lisa@lisacanning.ca | May 4, 2015 | Lifestyle Design
I think all parents could use one of these trophies from time to time. Cause being a parent- let alone a working parent- is a juggling act that is deserving of an award.
Being a working parent is no easy feat. It requires a great deal of organization and stamina. I started my interior design business right out of university, after working on this crazy little television show, and pretty shortly after I had my first child. 8 years of a business and almost 5 kids later the art of juggling has become a skill I am very familiar with.
For the purposes of this blog post I am calling "working parents" those who either work out of the home for someone else, or run their own business either full or part-time (bloggers you're in here too!). However, this nomenclature is not to underscore the amount of work it is to raise kids full time at home- it is absolutely the most important full time job I believe that exists today and it is a ton of hard work.
With that said, here are my top tips for how to balance it all without falling flat on your face:
1. PLAN YOUR IDEAL WEEK
This is a non-negotiable, do not pass go, do not move any further without sitting down to plan this. Here are some tips on how to plan it practically, but I also want you to consider the word "ideal" with an attitude of abundance. We live in a market today where being a working parent can look VERY different from generations past. So even if you work a "traditional" 9-5 job, might there be ways you could negotiate it to look less traditional ie. working from home a few days a week, extending your hours some days so you can take other days off, or simply starting your day early so you can end early and personally do school pick ups. I realize this might not be an option for everyone, but it is an option I think one should explore, or not write off completely before exploring options. The most important thing on this point is that you think about what IDEAL means for YOU, really dig deep without being limited, and adjust accordingly. It might lead you to realize that the situation you are in needs to change.
2. MANAGE YOUR OWN EXPECTATIONS
I think the pursuit of "having it all" can be kind of dangerous. I absolutely love Heather Havrilesky's take on it in this article. I agree with her wholeheartedly- I think working mothers / parents CAN have it all- you just have to adjust your expectation of what "IT" is. And "IT" is going to look totally different from one working parent (or any parent for that matter) to the next. Don't compare. I often get asked how I do it all- and I will be honest with you, I have no magic potion, no secret, no easy answer. I simply work hard, know the "why" behind what I do, and have gone through a ton of trial and error and adjusted every time. For me, it always comes down to the work I have done planning / visioning what my ideal life looks like, and every time things fall out of balance or I don't feel like my actions align with my values, I readjust.
3. MAKE FAMILY TIME AS IMPORTANT AS ANY WORK APPOINTMENT
This is huge, and admittedly, a muscle I constantly have to strengthen. Essentially, make spending time with your family just as important as any major meeting, presentation, client appointment or conference. In my own life, I will prepare whole-heartedly for work related meetings and events- but how much effort do I invest in spending time with my husband or kids? Too often I don't put in nearly as much effort. I'm not arguing that one has to make every ounce of quality time a production or major event- but that you schedule it, stick to it, and dare I say put your phone on silent in the same manner you would in a work meeting. In a practical sense this could look like taking Sundays off with your family, scheduling a weekly date night, etc. etc. etc. But the point is that it is scheduled, and prioritized highly.
4. EDIT YOUR LIFE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
Okay, I do have an answer to the question how I do it all: I have edited my life A TON. In my business, I have delegated / outsourced as much as possible to keep me working in my strengths. In my home life, we have a part-time nanny and occasionally hire cleaning services. As a result of trial and error, I learned I could not do everything without compromising or feeling like I was failing at everything. I also argue working parents need to edit their lives of other things: activities that might waste time (I had to remove Angry Birds from my phone because I could not believe how much time I was spending killing those darn pigs!), friends that might suck your energy, or the amount of TV you watch.
5. EMBRACE THE IMBALANCE
I know I have used the word "balance" on this blog like it is something you can achieve. But make no mistake what I have learned, especially as an entrepreneur with really young kids- is that imbalance is far more regular and if I constantly tried to keep my life exactly balanced at all times I would not win. Instead, I embrace the imbalance, knowing that the pendulum always swings back: busy times are balanced later with family vacations, no day in my life is identical to the last, and that trying to control everything- including my kids- is a harmful and unrealistic goal. So I embrace that juggling work and kids won't always be graceful- but with proactive planning and a sense of humour you can thrive- not just survive.
What are your tips for balancing work and family life? Love to know in the comments below.
by lisa@lisacanning.ca | Nov 23, 2014 | Lifestyle Design
As I have mentioned previously I'm being brave and being a bit more personal on my blog. Still lots of good interior design stuff (like here, here and here) but for today's post, I'm talking about the job of being wife and mom.
Last weekend, my husband had a work conference in Montreal- so the kids and I decided to tag along for the ride. Smoked meat and poutine, cuddles in big comfy hotel beds and quality time after working like a maniac- so needed! I am so thankful for the weekend we had. I am most thankful for the time to recalibrate and be reminded of what my most important job is.
I put in a lot of time developing myself professionally. Recently I was in Colorado for Platform, yearly I invest in business coaching of some kind, and I am pretty obsessed with reading and gathering info on social media strategies, good business practices and becoming a better interior designer and communicator in general.
But how much time do I invest in being a good wife and a good mother? The honest answer is not very much. So in Montreal I brainstormed a few concrete ways I could invest in being a better wife and mom. Here they are in no particular order:
1. Do more the night before. This has proved to be pretty awesome for our morning routine, and therefore all of our moods heading out the door for school. And for those of you in Toronto or anywhere north of the equator it seems, you know how much more effort it was this week with snowpants, boots, mitts, hats, etc. etc. etc. So I am disciplining myself to attempt to lay things out the night before. School bags with letters / forms already filled in get laid out by the door, and lunches mostly packed saved for the things that are perishable and are pre wrapped in bags in the fridge. I have to work on getting them to lay out their clothes the night before- hoping to instill that habit in them (and myself!) too.
2. Turn my phone off for uninterrupted, aimless time. Or at least put it away out of reach. I think I need to make a "sacred time", where the phone is away. In this time I want to invest in just being present and aimless. Ask my kids questions, be present to my husband in conversation, be available in an undistracted manner. I need to work on this.
3. Be more grateful, and verbalize my gratitude. This one is simple. I need to be more grateful for my spouse and my kids and let them know that. If I had a jar and I had to put a dollar in for the number of times I got irritated in a day with everyone, vs. the times I spoke grateful words to them it would be pretty sad to see how full that jar would be.
4. Be more romantic. As a mom of small kids, romantic gestures of any kind are admittedly quite neglected at the end of a day full of demands. The relationship I have with my spouse supports the rest of the relationships in our house, and establishes a culture of care and kindness. My kids learn about love by watching the way I relate with Josh. I best treat him with some fondness ; )
In the fast pace of our life with 4 kids and busy work schedules, there are days that we feel like we barely survive. But there are also days that we thrive. I want more of the latter, and experience has shown me that if I put into practice some of the goals I set out above, like being more organized and more attentive and less distracted, we really do feel great. At mass last Sunday at the gorgeous and historic St. Patrick's in Montreal, this was read in the first reading: "Her children stand up and proclaim her blessed, her husband, too, sings her praises" (Proverbs 31:28). I hope to live up to this both for my own personal standard and for them.
How do you invest in your job as parents and spouse? Love to know your best practices in the comments below.
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