Hello my friends! I feel like it's been a while since I have shared what is going on in my family, so today I am sharing an update on what it is like to be a working mom of 6, and share a tool that has been really helpful in navigating through life as a mom on the go [and today I am on the go with my youngest son in our new Bugaboo Bee⁵]!
Working mom of six… even whenI read that I feel tired! But as I share often on my Instagram and my YouTube channel, navigating life with my large crew has been equal parts enjoyable, equal parts challenging, but most of all really, really fulfilling.
Motherhood, like anything, is a skill. It has a learning curve. You can feel like you have it all together one minute, and then feel like you are going to lose your mind the next moment. Add on to that the very real pressures that come with a job outside of the home, and it can all be a difficult space to navigate. As I have told many of my first time mom friends, I think having your first child is harder than having six children in a lot of ways! There is such a steep learning curve with your first child, and such a drastic change in your identity, your regular schedule and your body!
But with eight years of this motherhood gig now under my belt, and six gorgeous humans who I get to call my children, I have a little more confidence, I am way less hard on myself, and I have learned strategies that help me to persevere through the challenging parts of motherhood.
When people ask me, "how do you do it?" I honestly don't always know what to say. But I will share this: one strategy that I have learned is an absolute necessity to thrive in motherhood is self care. And let's just say I have failed pretty epically at it over the years. But what I have learned is that if we want to be good moms, good contributors to society, and generally nice people to be around [lol] we have to listen to our bodies, listen to our emotions, and take care of ourselves so we can take care of others.
This weekend I spoke at event [a really fun ladies tea event in Oakville on the topic of creating family memories at home] and I knew that I would be pretty tired after it. So I booked a babysitter, and made sure I would have enough time on the way home to do something I LOVE- which is to spend time on the waterfront in my home of Toronto, Canada.
We only hung out for about thirty minutes- but boy was it restorative. There is something so soothing to me about water. I love how peaceful it is, how vast it is, and for me it is just so restorative. I live in a really busy city- and I just love how even in my urban dwelling I can escape to a scene like this for a moment of rest. [It doesn't hurt that there was a pierogi food truck nearby- so yummy]
It can be really challenging to make rest a priority. For many years, I didn't think rest was important enough to hire a babysitter for, and spend money on to achieve. But what I find is when I rest, I dream. I am a dreamer. I love having the space to just think. To listen. To recalibrate. And my spouse, my kids, and myself are all better off as a result.
With my large family of six kids ages eight and under, one of the ways we make our family work, and make it easier for me to have this self-care time, is to have more than one stroller. This way, if I am doing something on my own with the baby, and my husband or a babysitter is taking care of the rest, whoever is taking care of my other children has the flexibility to take my older kids out on their own adventure.
The Bugaboo Bee⁵ stroller makes traveling with my infant on my own really simple. It's compact design makes it ideal for my urban neighbourhood- it's narrow width is easy to navigate around crowds and shops and the suspension design makes for a smooth ride on my self-care trips to the water (or the mall, lol).
It's also incredibly flexible- it has integrated attachment points for things like coffee cups and a comfort wheeled board [no need for adapters], customizable colours on the faux leather handle bar grips and changeable wheel caps, and my favourite, the Bugaboo Bee⁵ has 700 possible design configurations- so you can customize your stroller to your heart's content.
And speaking of heart's content- how much fun is this bassinet fabric design? I love the denim and the butterflies (my three year old is a big fan of the pinks ones)! In my work as an interior designer I just love to have beauty all around me- and this stroller is no exception.
To learn more about Bugaboo and dream up your own design, learn more here. And for more self-care strategies for busy moms, watch here.
How do you take care of yourself as a busy mom? What tools help your family make this possible? Love to know in the comments below.
Cheers to designing your beautiful life,
xo Lisa
Special thanks to Bugaboo Strollers for partnering with me on this blog post.
As a mom of 6 little kids and a business owner, time management is basically a necessary survival strategy! Without it I perish! OK, that’s a little dramatic but I definitely have had to increase my ability to manage my time as my family size, and business have grown. I wouldn’t call myself a master at time-management, but let’s just say I am an expert at failing at it!
And that is the spirit of today’s post. Self-care and putting my own needs higher on the priority list has been on my mind a lot lately, especially after the birth of my sixth child. When my family size was smaller, and my business was younger (and maybe because I was younger!) it was easier in a way to not make myself a priority. I would kinda just tell myself to hustle harder, pull more all nighters, juggle more, and work myself to the bone until I would crash. It wasn’t pretty, and I sort of just told myself that it was the cost of doing business and being an entrepreneur.
Today, in my 30’s, with 6 little kids, with distinct personalities and individual needs, and a more mature business, I find that this strategy simply does not work anymore. I don’t like working myself to the point of exhaustion. I don’t like not being able to see my family for extended periods because I am running around doing a million things. It’s not that I am adverse to hard work- I simply want to work hard in a way that won’t leave me feeling pulled in multiple directions and completely burnt out at the end of it.
Here are a few strategies that have been working for me lately- I would love to know what works for you!
1. Schedule self-care like a recurring appointment
It’s as simple as the title suggests. Literally, create a block of time in your calendar, click the button that makes it a recurring appointment, and actually honour it in the same way you would honour a coffee date with a friend, a dental appointment, or other commitment that might require you to leave the kids at home.
Think of it like regular maintenance on your car, or regular check ups at the doctor- if we don’t take care of ourselves, we cannot take care of the people who matter most.
If you’re a stay-at-home mom with a bunch of kids at home and you have no idea how you would make this work, I am confident you can find a way! I share some strategies here.
2. Make it simple
Self-care does not need to be elaborate or epic by any means. It could literally look like a nap, a quiet cup of coffee alone, or a manicure. I would suggest being really strategic with the time. In my current season of life, I have very short windows where I can truly just be a alone and relax- but boy do I ever make the most of those times of relaxation. Just keep your options simple and manageable, and don’t compare your self-care to what other people are doing! Which brings me to…
3. Stop comparing
Comparison is the thief of joy. And what does this have to do with self-care? I believe 100% self-care starts in our heads. I still struggle with comparing myself to others, but in the past I REALLY REALLY struggled. There was a time in my life where I was honestly so paralyzed at times because I was so worried about what people would think. And I would allow this negative self-talk in my head to stop me from doing things I really loved. So stop comparing yourself, and just start living your own beautiful life.
I’m trying something new on my YouTube channel and would love to know what you think- press play below for more on this topic and I would love for you to leave me a comment! How do you practice self-care?
For the next 4 weeks I am doing something I have never done before- I am taking a sabbatical.
For 4 weeks I am taking a planned sabbatical not just from my work- I am also removing all social media accounts from my phone.
If you know me well, you will know this is radical for me. My phone is literally by my side at all times. It is the last thing I look at in bed and the first thing I pick up when I wake up. I don't think I have gone longer than 2 hours without looking at my phone- probably shorter to be honest.
I debated this decision really heavily- things at Lisa Canning Interiors are as busy as they have ever been. My online life is a beautiful one and full of really fun people I have loved getting to know. Even just moments before writing this post I almost caved and called it all off.
But I am confident that this is the right time to be unplugging. Here are a few reasons why:
1. I was more focused on sharing my life than living it.
In the pursuit of growing my platform, there was a point recently where I was becoming obsessed with grabbing and sharing "the shot", writing "the post", and literally having anxiety from not posting something somewhere within a 12-hour period. Here is an analogy- we don't rest so we can work better, we work so that we can rest. Similar is true with life and social media. We should share beautiful things we experience in life, not live so we can can create more Instagram content.
2. My phone has become an escape mechanism.
I used to justify this- I used to justify that my phone allowed me to be connected to the outside world, connected to a world of fancy high heeled grown ups when in the midst of the chaotic grind of messy mothering. While the connection is great, and social media a powerful tool for building community (and high heels are amazing!) it can also be really challenging. Comparison can creep in, jealousy can permeate, and for me I was spending so much time in rabbit trail after rabbit trail with no final destination in sight. It was also eating up a lot of my limited free time.
3. I am mentally not as available for my family as I would like to be.
This is a really hard one for me to admit. I have realized that while I am physically present to my husband and kids, there are too many times I am not mentally present. There are too many times I am just finishing up one last post, or checking one last comment, or irritated that I have to put my phone down one more time to tend to someone's needs that aren't my own.
So I am going on a 4 week hiatus- with some things pre-programmed on my various social media accounts in my absence. I have handed my email and business duties off to my incredible staff, and if you're looking for me I will be "hands-free" parenting my 5 gorgeous kids.
Taking a sabbatical might not be realistic for you right now, but here are some questions you can ask yourself to check your relationship with social media:
– How much time do I spend with my phone? Is it at the expense of my relationships?
– How much time do I invest in getting the "perfect" shot to share? Does it impact my relationships or schedule?
– Am I more concerned with sharing than I am living my life?
– Do my social media feeds make me feel more (or less) adequate?
– How much time do I spend every day on social media?
Social media enables lots of good things- but part of designing the best life possible for yourself is about putting the BEST things over the good things. And that is why I am suddenly checking my relationship with social media during my sabbatical.
I posted this article to my Facebook wall that garnered some great discussion- the topic was balance, and if it exists.
The article argues that of these 5 things: family, sleep, work, friendships and exercise- you can only do 3 well. The other 2 will suffer.
Based on observing my own life I would have to agree with this 3/5 premise. In my life currently sleep is always the area I let suffer, despite my desire to wake up early.
So what gives? Are we doomed to always live lives that are out of whack? Does balance not exist and is the pursuit of it futile?
After running a business for 8 years and having 5 kids during 6 of those years, I would agree- expecting a 50/50 split, or trying to pursue equal distribution of time between work, family, exercise, friends and rest is just not realistic.
I prefer my friend Mona Corwin's definition of balance- which is that balance is achieved when attention is given at the proper amount in the proper place at the proper time.
This definition of balance resonates so well with me, and is definitely more attainable- there are always going to be seasons where work might need more attention, or family might need more attention. But even with adjusted expectations, the pursuit of balance and succeeding at it all can be pretty challenging. Here are a few of my strategies, to borrow Michael Hyatt's phrase, to win at work and succeed at life and balance "it all":
1. Schedule your most important priorities first, and actually keep those appointments
I have done Michael Hyatt's 5 days to your best year ever course 2 years in a row, and exercise was on the list of goals for the year both times. I had high hopes to exercise 3 times a week, go to bed early and eat healthy. I would block off the time in my calendar to work out in the morning and put my clothing out the night before. But my challenge was, I would never keep the appointments. I would come up with a million reasons why I should not work out and cancel these appointments I had made with myself to get healthy. So towards the end of 2015, I took drastic measures and I hired a personal trainer who comes to my house. I can't exactly cancel on her when she is standing in my living room- and the results have been amazing. To illustrate this point in another area, every Tuesday morning I participate in a program for my three youngest kids at our local community centre. I adore the time I get to spend with my kids in this interactive play group we attend. It's marked as a recurring appointment in my calendar and I schedule work around it.
The key is to spend this time on paper before it gets spent for you. In an ideal world I would schedule components from each of the 5 pillars mentioned above- work, family, sleep, friendships and exercise, not in equal amounts but in amounts appropriate to whatever season of life you are in- with intention. And then actually keep the appointment, regardless if it's an appointment only you are attending.
2. Remember the why behind the appointment
I think a big reason why things fall to the wayside, or items get pushed to the bottom of a never ending list, is that we forget why it's important to do it. I did not care about my physical fitness really, until I was forced to. At the end of 2015, I was doing the every day, routine task of putting my 2 year old in her high chair. I lifted the 18 lbs sweetheart of a girl out of the chair and because I did not lift using proper muscles, I threw out my back completely. I was in agonizing pain, completely immobilized, feeling like a total failure and moron for letting myself get so out of shape. That was the straw that literally broke the camel's back for me, and I was reminded if I don't take care of my health, I can't be there for my family. So whether it's being present in your kids' lives when they need it most, or making time for a coffee with an old friend, always remind yourself why these things are important and the benefits that come from keeping these appointments,
3. Delegate, automate, delete
I utter these three words almost daily as I am constantly reviewing the processes in which I do things. Because I have 5 kids, and I really want to be present to them as much as possible, I delegate a lot. Anything that can be automated with technology I automate, and anything that just does not need to happen anymore I delete. Some practical tips from my life include:
– Delegate: In my business I use this filter to determine what gets delegated: what am I not good at / is some else just as good or better than me at this? In my life these include accounting, anything related to my website aside from writing blog posts, shopping for products for styling days, graphic design, anything related to web marketing except fo the creation of the actual content. In my home life I have delegated house cleaning and laundry, still trying to figure out a grocery shopping option that isn't super costly (I just learned you can shop for groceries online and pick them up at Walmart in the GTA- next on my list of things to try to save me time!)
– Automate: The way in which I book and take payments for my 2-hour design consultations is now automated. I am currently figuring out gmail tags that allow you to forward specific kinds of emails off, like invoices, directly to my accountant. My trainer and I work out at the same times every week, so I don't have to think about it too much. I have a friend who puts people into his calendar so he remembers to call them and stay in touch every other month. Love this "automated" approach to staying in touch with friends.
– Delete: In my life, we keep the weekends pretty commitment free if possible to give ourselves tons of margin for unexpected plans. I say no to projects that won't fit within the number of hours I want to work. We are selective in the number of activities our children participate in. I limit the number of media previews or other work appointments in the evenings which is precious family time to me.
These are some practical ways I strive for balance- I would love to know some of your strategies in the comments below. And special thanks to Anna With Love for the shot above with my third child, and an exciting batch of photography for some new content I am creating on motherhood and balance. #excited #staytuned
I think all parents could use one of these trophies from time to time. Cause being a parent- let alone a working parent- is a juggling act that is deserving of an award.
Being a working parent is no easy feat. It requires a great deal of organization and stamina. I started my interior design business right out of university, after working on this crazy little television show, and pretty shortly after I had my first child. 8 years of a business and almost 5 kids later the art of juggling has become a skill I am very familiar with.
For the purposes of this blog post I am calling "working parents" those who either work out of the home for someone else, or run their own business either full or part-time (bloggers you're in here too!). However, this nomenclature is not to underscore the amount of work it is to raise kids full time at home- it is absolutely the most important full time job I believe that exists today and it is a ton of hard work.
With that said, here are my top tips for how to balance it all without falling flat on your face:
1. PLAN YOUR IDEAL WEEK
This is a non-negotiable, do not pass go, do not move any further without sitting down to plan this. Here are some tips on how to plan it practically, but I also want you to consider the word "ideal" with an attitude of abundance. We live in a market today where being a working parent can look VERY different from generations past. So even if you work a "traditional" 9-5 job, might there be ways you could negotiate it to look less traditional ie. working from home a few days a week, extending your hours some days so you can take other days off, or simply starting your day early so you can end early and personally do school pick ups. I realize this might not be an option for everyone, but it is an option I think one should explore, or not write off completely before exploring options. The most important thing on this point is that you think about what IDEAL means for YOU, really dig deep without being limited, and adjust accordingly. It might lead you to realize that the situation you are in needs to change.
2. MANAGE YOUR OWN EXPECTATIONS
I think the pursuit of "having it all" can be kind of dangerous. I absolutely love Heather Havrilesky's take on it in this article. I agree with her wholeheartedly- I think working mothers / parents CAN have it all- you just have to adjust your expectation of what "IT" is. And "IT" is going to look totally different from one working parent (or any parent for that matter) to the next. Don't compare. I often get asked how I do it all- and I will be honest with you, I have no magic potion, no secret, no easy answer. I simply work hard, know the "why" behind what I do, and have gone through a ton of trial and error and adjusted every time. For me, it always comes down to the work I have done planning / visioning what my ideal life looks like, and every time things fall out of balance or I don't feel like my actions align with my values, I readjust.
3. MAKE FAMILY TIME AS IMPORTANT AS ANY WORK APPOINTMENT
This is huge, and admittedly, a muscle I constantly have to strengthen. Essentially, make spending time with your family just as important as any major meeting, presentation, client appointment or conference. In my own life, I will prepare whole-heartedly for work related meetings and events- but how much effort do I invest in spending time with my husband or kids? Too often I don't put in nearly as much effort. I'm not arguing that one has to make every ounce of quality time a production or major event- but that you schedule it, stick to it, and dare I say put your phone on silent in the same manner you would in a work meeting. In a practical sense this could look like taking Sundays off with your family, scheduling a weekly date night, etc. etc. etc. But the point is that it is scheduled, and prioritized highly.
4. EDIT YOUR LIFE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
Okay, I do have an answer to the question how I do it all: I have edited my life A TON. In my business, I have delegated / outsourced as much as possible to keep me working in my strengths. In my home life, we have a part-time nanny and occasionally hire cleaning services. As a result of trial and error, I learned I could not do everything without compromising or feeling like I was failing at everything. I also argue working parents need to edit their lives of other things: activities that might waste time (I had to remove Angry Birds from my phone because I could not believe how much time I was spending killing those darn pigs!), friends that might suck your energy, or the amount of TV you watch.
5. EMBRACE THE IMBALANCE
I know I have used the word "balance" on this blog like it is something you can achieve. But make no mistake what I have learned, especially as an entrepreneur with really young kids- is that imbalance is far more regular and if I constantly tried to keep my life exactly balanced at all times I would not win. Instead, I embrace the imbalance, knowing that the pendulum always swings back: busy times are balanced later with family vacations, no day in my life is identical to the last, and that trying to control everything- including my kids- is a harmful and unrealistic goal. So I embrace that juggling work and kids won't always be graceful- but with proactive planning and a sense of humour you can thrive- not just survive.
What are your tips for balancing work and family life? Love to know in the comments below.
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